Horoscopes For The Week Of July 25th

NONSENSE HUMOR MAGAZINE

By Jesse Saunders

Aries Mar 21- Apr 19

A fire sign through and through, Aries! The world shines brighter with you in it, your passion for life is an ever growing fire no man can put out. You will not be acquitted of those arson charges.

Taurus Apr 20-May 20

The world is your Oyster! A more adventurous social life is on the way! If you’ve been thinking about making a change now’s the time! Love is in the Air! Prepare for a new path to open up! Life is meaningless and you feel without purpose! Get ready for good news Taurus! Gather your friends and just let down your hair! Things are happening! If the news is good, it’s probably true! If you want to know how to best proceed with the glad tidings, please insert your credit or debit card number (and the 3-digit security code) below!

Gemini…

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Author: Grandtrines

Like so many people, I am a paradox. I am a politically conservative vegetarian. I am from a Christian background, and still tend to like those values, but am a metaphysical astrologer trained in science who has an interest in the magic of ancient Egypt and a weird belief that some piece of our essence can live on a server. I live in Texas, but like chatting with my international Wordpress pals the best. I learn by teaching. Technically, I am a "Leo," but I am very, very Aquarian with a dose of Scorpio. I bitterly complain about Algol (and Algol personaliites), yet it is the one star that defines me most (other than Regulus). (Which, oddly, makes me an Algol personality.) I am a reclusive lover of peace and quiet who has the Ascendant in the Via Combusta (the most conflict ridden part of the zodiac). I am an incredibly private person with a blog with over 800 followers and 50 to 150 regular daily visitors. I could go on, but I think you get the picture.