The Astrology Report from Scary Carrie

And, now, for something totally different….

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HELLO, FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS! IT’S TIME FOR YOUR WEEKLY ASTROLOGY REPORT, SPONSORED IN PART BY HARPER SUNKWORKS! Dust off your hangover and listen up, you salty bastards!

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Venus is now partying it up in Sagittarius but having a little spat with Neptune who is staggering home on the walk of shame to Pices on 10/25. Some huge disappointment for some of you for your love life and financial status. I suppose if you didn’t blow your whole paycheck on that mail order bride scam a few months ago, you’d be taking that vacation your friends wanted you to go on and find a real person.

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Venus sexting Jupiter on 10/26, which means there will be hope for your sorry ass. Now that you’ve gotten the cold hard reality check, it’s time to move forward and start recovering from your poor life choices. I would, however, stay off of the…

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Author: Grandtrines

Like so many people, I am a paradox. I am a politically conservative vegetarian. I am from a Christian background, and still tend to like those values, but am a metaphysical astrologer trained in science who has an interest in the magic of ancient Egypt and a weird belief that some piece of our essence can live on a server. I live in Texas, but like chatting with my international Wordpress pals the best. I learn by teaching. Technically, I am a "Leo," but I am very, very Aquarian with a dose of Scorpio. I bitterly complain about Algol (and Algol personaliites), yet it is the one star that defines me most (other than Regulus). (Which, oddly, makes me an Algol personality.) I am a reclusive lover of peace and quiet who has the Ascendant in the Via Combusta (the most conflict ridden part of the zodiac). I am an incredibly private person with a blog with over 800 followers and 50 to 150 regular daily visitors. I could go on, but I think you get the picture.